A Heart That's Ever True.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

gekshan loves wednesdays=)

whew. done with the rjc compre. took like one thousand years to complete the nine questions. haha. but i didn't finish my AQ. wrote half-way and decided to give up. oh wells. shall ask around tomorrow=P AQs are the worst=X

training was cancelled 'cause of the rain. and i wasted 2 hours of my precious time in school doing practically nothing. but i had my afternoon nap outside the students' centre=D haha.

sigh. my studies are in a mess right now. so im gonna use the september holidays to sort them all out. i don't want to attend next year's orientation=\ i have to pass my promos, then score well for my alevels, and get into a local uni=) attainable? should be. if i stop procrastinating and start to focus. oh man. this is worse than preparing for the Os. and it's only the promos. ah wells.

then. what am i doing online? i should be studying now.
RAH=X

sometimes we should just learn to let go. it's the easiest way out.
running away isn't escaping reality. so run if you wish. 'cause you'll never know who would come running after you.

geks dageek @ 8:18 PM

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

omg. i threw my face into the drain today. i STILL can't believe i did what i just did on the bus 142. arghh. someone please shoot me now.
eh wait. im freaking myself out. he doesn't even know me. HAHA. oh wells=P anyway, this was what happened...

limin and i boarded the bus 142 and she became all hysterical when she saw this sas guy on it. i was like 'what??' and she went 'he's the one who likes my cousin!'. something like that. it was so coincidental please. haha. and limin wanted to know if it's really him so she suggested this really crazy idea. yes. something that caused my face to be in the stinky drain now. haha. i played along and it was just plain hilarious. bitches we are man=X but i felt a little bad. so sorry=/

whew. done with eom. but i bet mr chia is going to give me loads of negative comments. blah blah. hate it=X yay! i survived tuesday=D tomorrow will be a breeze! but there's training tomorrow. PT! omg im going to just die. never mind. can lose all the extra calories from the chicken cutlet and onion rings=D haha.

okay. done=) shall turn in soon.
night=D

geks dageek @ 10:03 PM

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Monday, August 28, 2006

the end of today is the start of tomorrow.

haha. that was my favourite quote (by yours truly) last term=) cool, right? haha i know it is. thanks. if you think that monday is the worst day of the week, then you should try MY kind of tuesday. it'll tear you to pieces, i assure you. haha. nah im exaggerating. SIGH. tuesdays just suck the spirit out of me. it's the most disgusting day of the week. and what's worse. there's physics SPA tomorrow. well done. it would be a miracle if i were to survive the whole of that SUPER gross day. I HATE TUESDAYS=X

come on, clock. move faster=P

geks dageek @ 8:42 PM

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Sunday, August 27, 2006

training on friday was horrible. really REALLY horrible. maybe it was the heat that made me lose concentration. sigh. training becomes extremely stressful when serena's around. haha. she said im depending too much on my wrists to pass the ball out. oh well. will improve on that=)

cell group was great=D the message was good. haha. what a word to use=P had sandwich-making competition after that. we had to bid for the ingredients! haha. it was like a madhouse. didn't get to try the sandwich 'cause it was very late and i had to leave. sad.

hall 8 was a little chaotic yesterday. anyhoo, service was great=D fellowship was alright. but it kinda ended on a bad note. 'cause the guys carried the joke about me being some evil spirit a bit too far. and i think kenny sensed that i wasn't too happy about it. so he told justine off. oh wells. they just have to know their limits.

but im really okay with all the jokes about evil spirits and stuff. im fine with all the teasings and everything. 'cause im used to it. and when you get accustomed to certain things, you will naturally become numb to them. laugh it off and everything will be fine=) no point losing your cool and ruin friendships right? yes.

i love because You first loved me=)

geks dageek @ 7:33 PM

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Thursday, August 24, 2006

God is my chicken essence=)

been a pretty long day but i survived it=) can you believe it? i survived THREE periods of physics tutorial, TWO periods of physics lecture, and ONE HOUR of physics consultation. im so proud of myself. haha.

GP was quite interesting today. it was like some lit class. miss chong taught us the different literary devices. yup. to equip us with the skills to answer compre questions. haha. shucks. there's an essay we are supposed to do during the september holidays. sucks=X

one-hour break. chicken briyani and iced milk tea=)

physics tutorial was alright. 'cause i wasn't listening most of the time. was doing tutorial 8=P did a bit of physics tys during the second break. i have a feeling i'll become psychotic when i leave jc. too much physics. haha.

math tutorial was okay. wahhh that mrs chan gave me a C minus for my assignment. wth. i spent SO much time doing it please. never mind=X

i hate eugene chan. he thinks he's so cool. yuck=X

okay. going to do my math tutorial. i hate maclaurin. what an annoying person with no life. came up with all the useless formulae to torture us poor students. get a life, maclaurin!
oh wait. he can't anyway. 'cause he's dead. never mind. i shall tell him that when we meet in heaven=)

arghhh i love minyi colleen melly jas muches much! <3

geks dageek @ 7:01 PM

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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

a productive day. in fact, i've never felt so accomplished ever since school started this year. im done with organic chem=) thank goodness. but i doubt im able to recall the facts tomorrow. there are like a million things to remember. all the free radical substitution, halogenation, nitration bull. oh wells.

anyway, my sister said i was a little nutty today. haha. maybe it's because of the LONG hours of studying. studying makes gekshan NUTTY. after typing out the written report, i was being really 'high'. lols. 'cause i know im done for the day=)

divine order- come re-shape my life now.

geks dageek @ 9:11 PM

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Sunday, August 20, 2006

damn. im supposed to be doing my physics tys and so what in the world am i doing here blogging? oh well. seems like my life's pretty screwed. so many things that are yet to be done. i haven't even started on my WR and im very sure im gonna have a sleepless night tomorrow. well done. oh well. one step at a time=)

anyway, service was great. i think it was better than friday's=) yay! i LOVE my new bible=D precious moments. CUTE. thanks so so so much, clarice karen hooper guangren! was really touched.

oh yeah. got pretty annoyed by this new guy in the cell. he said i looked like some twenty-something-year-old person. thanks man. that was so nice of him. but it's okay.
love those who are difficult to love=)

and yes. i've got to remember what clarice said a few weeks ago. you need to know where the boundaries lie or misunderstandings will surface. but. it's hard to define the boundaries. oh wells.

yup. going to gross myself out with the ever-disgusting physics tys.
night all=)

geks dageek @ 7:31 PM

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Thursday, August 17, 2006

i can't believe neil perry died. (it's 'perry', not 'nolan'. poor memory=P) he's such an influential character. both to the audience and to his friends. it's a pity that he should die after his success in playing 'Puck'. what nonsense. and his dad still had the cheek to push the blame to keating, claimng that he was the root cause of his son's defiance and foolishness. what bull. and it's interesting how the characters in the movie develop in their ways of thinking and how they grow in their pursuit for their dreams.

'but only in their dreams can men be truly free. 'twas always thus, and always thus will be.' -john keating-

todd anderson is also an admirable character=) though he appeared to be rather meek and withdrawn at first, he was the first one to stand atop his desk and said to keating, 'o captain, my captain'. he has the courage to stand up for what he thinks is right and that's pretty cool=D haha.

all in all, i think i've fallen in love with the 'dead poets society', especially neil perry. he. is. so. cute. lols.

yup, that was our GP lesson=D

had chicken briyani rice. i know im making my throat worse by eating that. but i couldn't care less. haha. was very pissed off for some reason and i realised how much i dislike being in the class. i want s03 back=X i don't have a problem with the people. it's just. well. im not sure either.

had SPA trial. physics pract is always so sickening. i hate metre rules now=X had another one-hour break. ate with min and shirley while the rest of the class went to the sc to do who-knows-what. im so so so thankful to have my four babes to count on=)

i passed my math class test=D hahaha. math tutorial was alright. just a lot of copying and stuff. physics lecture was just downright boring. wave motions. how interesting can it get? haha.

yay=) got the blue-and-white striped sa shirt from jon=) heh. it cost me 20 bucks please! but it's worth it.

hmm. don't think im going for the slamdunk thing. there are million and one things to be done by next week: WR 2nd draft, study for next week's chem lect test, finish my math tutorial 3.2. im fried. i've no idea how on earth im going to do all these. time is the scarcity here. haha.

and i've decided to go for A.R. Bernard's talk instead of the Carpenterstools concert. heard it's gonna be good=D

and i should stop being such an ass.
Your mercy taught me to forgive. im gonna keep that in mind all the time. yes.

geks dageek @ 7:55 PM

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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

just came back from prayer meeting. exhausted but happy=) heh.

i love wednesdays=) 'cause lessons end at 12.45. haha.
i really thank god for the prayer phone conference on monday night. 'cause it really helped=) im not so tired in school anymore=D but there are a million and one things to be done and time is scarce. the opportunity cost for doing this and that, the demand for MORE time, the supply of MY energy. oh my god. im talking econs *gasp* i hate that subject, by the way. haha.

had an interesting GP lesson this morning. we watched 'dead poets society'. it's a really good movie. i think. it teaches you A LOT about life and everything. carpe diem: seize the day. if you really want to do something, don't hesitate. for you will regret in due course. but of course, im referring to the RIGHT 'something'. haha. and i think neil nalon is cute. heh=P

PE was. bleah. didn't really enjoy today's handball game. partly 'cause i was down with the bloody flu. anyway, had a voracious appetite. i ate one bowl of wanton noodles and another bowl of fishball noodles. im such a pig please. haha.

the most detestable teacher on earth came for our PW class today. terror. mr chia highlighted some of the changes we should make. blah blah. seems like im gonna have a VERY exciting weekend to look forward to. im going to kill whoever came up with this oh-so-ingenious idea to torture jc students. just you wait. lols.

chem lect was alright. finished 'halogen derivatives'. i have a feeling im going to just faint studying for the lecture test next wednesday. there are so many topics under organic chem please! and to think i used to like chem. bahhh.

studied with christian and jon at mac's after that. yay=) i can add to my study hours. haha. half-done with my alkanes notes. haha. not very productive but it's better than doing nothing at all=P

walked all the way from novena mrt station to hooper's house. and the weather was friggin' hot. but anyway, prayer meeting was great=D

and as i've said before, i don't care what others think.

and i really should treat my classmates better. they are my friends too. it's not fair that they should put up with my badass attitude in class and all. maybe it's really true that familiarity breeds contempt. oh well. im too quick-tempered. i should learn to control it=) yeah. haha.

and there are SO many things to be done. hurray for me=X it really sucks.

okay. i'd better get going. another long day awaits me. YUCK=X

geks dageek @ 9:17 PM

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Sunday, August 13, 2006

'Your mercy taught me to forgive.'

i don't know why. but sometimes i feel that people give me more credit than i actually deserve. im not that nice. one of my cellgroup friends told me that i have the gift of loving the people around me. yeah, right. as i've said, im not THAT nice. well, that's what i think. i'd rather trust my own judgment. perhaps it's the way she sees me but i know myself better. i go out of my way to love people by writing them notes, asking them if they're alright when they seem out of sorts etc, in the hope that they would do the same. it's like i love for the sake of being loved. it's human, you see. but the real intention isn't that sincere. no, don't get me wrong. i mean every word that i've said or written. it's just that there's just this desire to be loved. oh wells.

it's really a challenge to love those who are difficult to love. i don't know. maybe im too quick to judge. and when i've decided that this person is not worth my time, i won't be bothered to get to know him/her better. i know this is not the right attitude so im going to try really hard to accept those whom i may find repulsive at first sight. if you want to be loved, love others first. nobody's perfect. to establish a friendship is to accept one's shortcomings and learn to love him/her for who he/she is.

friendship is such a questionable thing.
sometimes i wonder if my friends will stand by me in times of crisis.
so what if you've many friends at school, outside school, whatever. so what if you can say 'hi' to somebody with every few steps.
it's not the quantity that counts. it's the quality that matters.

make me more of You and less of me=)

anyway, back to reality.
yesterday was great=D didn't go for soccermania. oh well. i guess tutorials should take priority. haha. woke up at around 8.45. early, right! lols. spent the whole of my morning doing the blasted math tutorial. nearly vomitted blood. but completed it anyway. what a disgusting subject=X

service was great=D
A: my wife's an angel!
B: you're lucky! my wife's still alive!

man, that was funny but MEAN. haha.

oh yeah! i've got two new siblings! my two beloved younger brothers- kenny and shaun=)) haha. the three of us had the same BK meal for dinner and the same icecream flavour for dessert=D hahaha. ben&jerry's vanilla rocks please. lols.

oh man. another week of torture.

night!

geks dageek @ 7:46 PM

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Monday, August 07, 2006

see? told you i would collapse out of EXTREME exhaustion ONE DAY. and i did. didn't attend school today. couldn't even drag myelf out of bed. i was so tired i couldn't even open my eyes. woke up at around 12 and went back to sleep right after lunch. slept till 4.30.

i guess the whole of last week wore me out major. yesterday was the worst. been out of the house since 7 in the morning. and reached home at 12 in the morning. it was madness man.

anyway, friday was a blast. celebrated colleen's birthday with the babes at the cafe after school. and we had lunch together! a moment to be remembered=D attended a play called 'hello' at substation with mugen, mr fong, colleen, minyi and zhicong. fred was supposed to meet us for the play but he was LATE. haha. it was really thought-provoking. there was something deeper than what it seemed. loved it=) went to ben&jerry's to celebrate colleen's birthday. again! haha. it was the guys' treat=) they rock! had fun bickering with mean ol' fred=P childish but funny. lols.

soccermania and FOP on saturday.
FOP was great. but the sermon was a little boring. perhaps i was just sleepy. oh wells. anyways, i think don moen is really talented=) he looked so cool when he played the violin. haha.

17th anniversary and sav band concert on sunday.
service rocked=)
band concert was BORING please.

okay. gonna sleep now. need to wake up at 4.30 to complete my econs essay. night=)

geks dageek @ 8:13 PM

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Saturday, August 05, 2006

didn't know there is so much more to a simple 'hello' than what it seems. interesting, huh. haha.

the weekend's here. so what? no time to rest anyway.
bloody GP essay is driving me nuts. i hate doing research! i hate google i hate yahoo i hate wikipedia=X disgusting sites.

school is as dull as ever. not much to look forward to. everyday's identical to the next. what a boring life. and there's still econs to study for. shucks. demandandsupply, demandandsupply. it's driving me nuts too. im so so so so so tired.

wanted to go for physio yesterday 'cause my shins were hurting like hell. but there wasn't enough time. oh wells. another time then. haha.

i realised something. little deeds can make a big difference.
but then. sometimes i think im doing them out of emptiness. i think im trying really hard to be everyone's support when things aren't going well for them. why? 'cause i want to fill up that emptiness. so that i know im here for a purpose. yeah. it's all so complicated=X

but im just me=)

geks dageek @ 11:01 AM

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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

i survived tuesday.
whoa. major accomplishment please=)

i have like 5 more bloody tickets to sell. whatever. doesn't matter if we can't finish selling them anyway. like anybody would spend 5 bucks to buy such a ticket. oh well. can't say that. it's a class effort after all. but still. it's like a burden.

anyway, read some random ij girl's blog that miss tan's leaving=( it's big loss to ij man. she's like the bestest (and i really mean it) principal a school can ever have. it just sucks to think that she won't be in ij anymore. can't imagine walking around the school without seeing her and getting all anxious that we might do something inappropriate in front of her. haha. hmm. wonder who would be the new principal. bet it's gonna be someone not as nice as miss tan=X whatever. i've already graduated. so it doesn't matter.

oh yeah. read my sec 2 posts. okay i know i should be studying instead of doing useless stuff like reading past entries. but who cares. it's quite interesting, you know. haha. my goodness. all the posts were like totally random. haha. with all the 'tay yit ming is damn annoying' and other bitchings about the teachers blah blah. omg tay yit ming. used to count the number of times she said 'are you with me, girls' during her lessons. boliao but fun. something to entertain ourselves during a boring math class. lols. omg and i remember lalitha! haha. 'okay now c'mon'. her favourite phrase please=P omg 101 random memories. haha. and all the petty entries about friends and stuff. and i didn't realise till now that i used to eat at mac's so frequently. haha. that's my 14-year-old days for you. not as exciting but still the good old days. haha. sound as if im already in my forties or something.

i love being 14=) know why? 'cause it's the most relaxing year of your secondary school life. haha. it was always about going out, chattng online and making fun of teachers=P studies? who cares. (though i DID mug for streaming. didn't want to end up taking subs i didn't like.) oh wells. im 17 and i should be proud of it=) but i know it's gonna be one hell of a year. damn. i can't wait to get out of jc. it's a disgusting phase in life you've to go through. jeez. and i thought it's gonna be like honeymoon once i made it into jc. yeah right. honeymoon my foot. it's seriously worse than last year please. wahhh i hate it. there isn't a day when i can actually relax. sucks. whatever. i don't really care.

and it doesn't help when you have to keep smiling and putting on a cheerful front all the time. even when your mood is in the dumps. and when you don't, other people would think you're just being an ass and then form a bad impression about you. wth please. they just don't understand. and sometimes i really hate being all smiley and goody to everyone all the time. 'cause they won't appreciate it. and there are times when i feel that people are testng my patience. dunno why. just have this feeling. perhaps they want to see when would gekshan blow up and start to ignore everyone and anyone. okay maybe im being paranoid. but whatever.

and maybe i should stop being TOO friendly. or people would think im easy to bully. and sometimes i feel that im taken for granted. is it really true that people would only learn to appreciate when they have lost something? how nice.

but whatever. i will NOT allow myself to be taken for granted. and i will NOT take my friends for granted.

okay. why do i feel so pissed all of a sudden? -shrugs- whatever=X

geks dageek @ 9:16 PM

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