A Heart That's Ever True.

Monday, September 25, 2006

one word: horrendous.
no. make it two: simply horrendous.

OH MAN think i screwed my paper one AND paper two. to hell with it. just hope im able to maintain my grade=) -crosses fingers- arghhh i cannot believe it. all the essay questions are so disgusting. the compre passage was no better=X

didn't join the class for lunch 'cause i wanted to save money and sleep. was really tired. and there's still chem to study for later. thank god for the study break, though im pretty sure there won't be enough time to finish everything. sigh. why is jc life so tough?

oh yeah. today's melvin's birthday. haha. irritated him with my incessant 'happybirthdays'. was really funny=D once again. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELVIN. lols.

felt kinda down on saturday during fellowship. why. i dunno either. well, i guess i was a little affected by what limin told me. about melissa. she was about to cry over the phone because of some problem. cheer up girl! no matter what happens, you know we are all here for you yeah. FRIENDS FOREVER.

funny. it's not even my problem. so why that disgusting feeling? okay. thinking about it is even more disgusting. guess the shadows of that incident are still lurking somewhere behind me. somehow it's left some kind of a fear. unsettling. i don't want a replay of that incident. 'cause it seriously sucked. and no matter how many million times i tell myself never to let it affect me, it just doesn't work. there will be times when it all comes back, though less severely than before. i know i've to deal with it. but i've no idea how to deal with it anymore. i''ve dealt with it once and i thought that was it. but now i realise it's not. and all these unsettled remains of the incident tend to make me do stupid things. well, just stupid things.

i just hope it'll never happen again. once is enough. i just have be less naive, i guess. haha.
now i understand why they always say love involves risks. the risk of getting hurt. but im not in the mood for this right now. there are a million things to worry about. i don't wanna care about all these disgusting things. all i want is to pass my promos and be promoted. and then move on to a local uni. well, that was why i chose the jc route in the first place. haha.

so. im just going to push it all behind and forget about it. totally, i mean. and im gonna pray real hard so that i won't flunk my GP.

arrghhh. this is so dumb. i spent the last 10 minutes typing that load of junk. how sad is that. this is just so stupid. actually everything's that happening right now is just plain stupid. whatever. i just want to concentrate on my studies and pass my promos. and that's that.

i wanna go back to the cardcaptor sakura days=)

geks dageek @ 5:48 PM

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Thursday, September 21, 2006

talk to me now and i'll respond in terms of physics.

omg. my life revolves around physics and i think im starting to get a little too obsessive with the subject. i think about it day and night, night and day, 24/7. how wonderful is that? and i spent nearly three-quarters of my time in school doing nothing but physics. no, i don't have any intention or whatsoever to be the successor of sir isaac newton=P i just want to PASS that mind-boggling subject. so anyway. physics' a part of me now and nothing can ever separate us. till death do us part. maybe getting attached to a book isn't a bad idea after all. okay, this is so random=P

HAHA. just read limin's 'dedication' to me. THANKS=P don't worry yes. he doesn't know anything. not as if he's gonna beat us up or something. lols. butbut. it was really hilarious. and limin, you're really bzd. haha=D

anyway, just received melly's postcard which has been in our locker since the september hols. ahhh. was so touched. and it just reminded me how much i miss them=) haha. like all the crazy thing we did together and stuff. love you girls muches! we shall meet up one of the days after our promos. yay=)

alright. tired and in desperate need of sleep. night all=)

geks dageek @ 9:39 PM

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Sunday, September 17, 2006

can life be anymore screwed up?
I.AM.SO.FRIGGIN.TIRED. I.NEED.REST.

im gonna flunk tomorrow's thermochem test. FOR SURE. chopstampplusguarantee. wth. i was so bloody pissed off with mr koh for giving us such a short notice about that blasted test. WTH. we only got to know about it like today?? and there's still WR to do. wow. what a day to end the week. and there's still so much left to study for promos. SCREW YOU exams! you make my life a living hell.

and SCREW YOU pw. you're just encroaching upon MY LIFE.
SCREW YOU MATHS. i don't understand you AT ALL. so go away and leave me alone.
SCREW YOU CHEM. i hate your organic family. go get a life and stop pestering me with your nitration bullcrap.
SCREW YOU ECONS. i don't need you in my life and stop haunting me with your externalities whatever nonsense.

this is pointless. im gonna finish up my WR. and hopefully i'll get to sleep before 12am.

geks dageek @ 9:44 PM

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Monday, September 11, 2006

chem SPA tomorrow! HORROR.
the end of today is the start of tomorrow. how great. TUESDAYS just sweep me off my feet. totally=X

was so sleepy today. dunno why. guess i slept too late last night. oh wells.

i can't believe i still have the time to blog. HELLO! promos are in two weeks' time! FOCUS. don't play no hocus pocus=P haha.

don't wanna waste my time on anything else except my studies. gosh. can't wait for promos to be over. then i can SLACK big time. and zilly's gonna be back by then! december=D

i love my dearies: melly coll min jas=D
i love my s2 clique: eLIMINation debo hsiaoen ngminjia youyin=D
i love my ij-in-sa clique: kailing sylvia sama elsie suhui rachel chua=D
i love my ij besties: zilly adel baichi ham meow=D
i love everyone in my cell=D
i love all my church friends=D (you know who you are!)

and i love You=D <3

geks dageek @ 6:59 PM

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Sunday, September 10, 2006

cell group today was awesome=D
haha. but i felt a little out of place 'cause nearly everyone's from the tertiary zone. and it was odd. everyone seemed MUCH more mature than me. and the stuff they talked about sounded so strange. like they were speaking in greek. haha. wrong frequency i guess. oh wells. maybe i'll be like them a few years down the road. talking in a MATURE way and behaving MATURELY. gosh. i can't picture myself doing that. haha. just looks weird=X

gekshan=mature? nawww=P lols. but i guess everyone has to grow up and start being his/her age. like what sis carol said today: you can't possibly behave like a 14-year-old when you're well past that age. it's just not right. butbutbut. i don't want to grow up just yet. it's too fast=P i guess im still a teenager. don't think i should be considered as a young adult till when i turn eighteen. being eighteen has its ups and downs. the up? CLUBBING AND DRINKING. haha nah. don't think im gonna try that. too wild for me=) haha. the down? alevels (that is, if im promoted) and another round of sad parting with friends and teachers. but i won't miss the school=P then again. i might miss the bridge. LOL. every moment in life is transient. no such thing as forever. only God's love=D

ANYWAYS.
service yesterday=D POWER. it's all in the name of Love. it did affect me quite a bit. 'cause i used to be emotionally shut-down. especially towards God. thankfully im not anymore=) haha. they kept playing the song sung by sun before service. 'don't take too long to say i love you'. YES. it'd certainly be the greatest regret in a person's life if he/she missed the chance to say it to the ones they love. so say it before it's too late=)

i don't know. but i feel much happier now=) 'cause there's always something to look forward to every week. I LOVE SATURDAYS.

had fellowship at baba king's. the spaghetti wasn't really filling=\ but the uncle there was really NICE. we played this number game thing and indian poker. haha. was real hilarous=D then we went to this spacious area to play that cowboyahbengredindian game thing. it was SUPER funny. hahaha. titus, cedric, leonard and i were the cowboys. LOL. and our group had to do a forfeit because of me=P we had to sort of like act out the whole singapore idol show. i was jasmine. GROSS. of all contestants, i had to be JASMINE. she annoys me=X leonard was jonathan, cedric was hady (erm im not sure if the spelling's correct) and titus was paul twohill (obviously). we had judges too! haha. justine and chowjie were the hosts=D LOL. laughed till i couldn't stand
straight. AND stuart got it all recorded in his phone! omg. haha. F-U-N.

okay. getting sleepy. NIGHT=)

i want You here tonight
i need You by my side

geks dageek @ 9:30 PM

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Friday, September 08, 2006

i don't know what came over me today. i guess i just wanted to be REALLY childish. haha=P had fun 'cause it released three-quarters of my stress=)

econs lecture was. totally useless. wasted TWO HOURS of my precious time. and there was just this spooky air about the econs lecturer. it's a little freaky. haha. okay i shan't be mean. BUT. the lecture was REALLY boring=\ of course. there'll always be something to keep us awake. haha. we had foolscap-msn convo=) and i was really 'high' throughout the lecture. laughed really hard after hearing what limin told me. it was such a random joke please!

rushed ALL the way to simei. hmm. i must say i have a sense of direction after all 'cause i didn't lose my way. all i had was karen's sms to guide me to the condo. haha. i rock=D got pretty tired with all the rushing. had the usual childish pointless bickering with titus. lols. couldn't play games 'cause i didn't bring extra clothes to change=X so i cheered my cell mates on=)

took bus 9 to simei station with kenny, guangren, cedric, justine and konrad. we were discussing if everyone in the cell should go formal tomorrow. haha. went to shop at bugis street with kenny, konrad and justine. yay=) blessed by kenny's sugar cane drink=) and we agreed to save 100 bucks by october. and we'll go shopping together=D yay! lols. lalalala=)

anyways, i've got physics tuition with minrui tomorrow=) good. i can ask her to teach me wave motions and oscillations. don't wanna get a U for physics anymore=
the merry-go-round thing was FUN. but i think i was a little too crazy. oh wells. forgot my pills=P hahaha.

all in all. had a really GREAT ( i think my vocab is getting worse by the day=P) time=D
L-O-V-E <3

geks dageek @ 10:01 PM

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econs lecture later. sucks=X

anyway, study group yesterday was SUPER unproductive. haha. with people like kenny and justine around, you can never get anything done. hmm. but i DID finish the part on inequalities, with a few questions left blank. then justine started with his 'wah you very humble ar' nonsense and that totally made me lose my focus on the stupid math revision worksheet. ended up helping karen write the lyrics for today's cell group=)

shopping with seoks was great=D had dinner at mac's and talked a lot. haha. typical girls' outing. spent quite a lot. oops=X now i really need to live on plain bread and plain water. lols.

arghh. hope my phone doesn't go wonky on me today=P
it's not worth my time, alright.

ECONS LECTURE LATER=\

geks dageek @ 10:33 AM

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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

i miss adeline and zilly=\ BIG TIME.

physics make-up today was alright, i guess. didn't fall asleep=) and i sort of understood oscillations better. good. and im gonna finish up tutorial 9=)

had lunch with adeline at j8's yoshi. window-shopped. talked. blah. coffeebean's apple crumble rocks=D today's outing kinda put me in a really weird mood. yeah, just weird. EEK. i hate being sentimental. gross me out major=X but still.
i miss doing staircase duty with adeline and my zilly partner=
i miss just being with them. crapping and lame-ing about.
oh. and i miss SIMBA. haha. hope to see him this coming december=)

i really think too much mugging makes me wonky=P lols. oh wells. STRESS.

okay. time to MUG (Makes yoU Geeky) =P

geks dageek @ 5:14 PM

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

okay. im gonna live on plain bread and plain water for the next few days. im officialy broke. and it's only tuesday, for heaven's sake=
yesterday's outing was g-r-e-a-t.
met karen at around 6 at city hall station. for bs. we have telepathy man. she bought me a precious moments bookmark and i bought her m&m's. BLESSING. haha. it feels real good to bless someone=) haha. and stuart and dom were ALSO having bs at the table next to ours.

had dinner at kenny rogers with karen, clarice and althea=) was really funny. lols. talked a lot and laughed a lot too. lols. with them around, you'll never be bored. haha. and clarice kept imitating my facial expression when i eat something sweet. it was just plain hilarious=D had lots of fun! so happy=D *17 18 19 20* us=)

studied at changi airport's bk. i completed my physics tutorial! joy to the world=) hmm. don't think i'll go all the way there to study anymore. travelling time is just too long. haha.

GOSH. and there's physics make-up tomorrow. HORROR.

anyway.
i can't believe steve irwin died. it's really unexpected. he departed the world. just like that.
life is just so unpredictable.
so seize the day=) *carpe diem*

and.
why do i like to dwell into things? haven't i learnt the hard way not to anymore? i hate it when things start to turn out this way. it's not supposed to be like that. it's supposed to be. well, i don't know what it's supposed to be. but i do know one thing that's for sure: promos are in less than three weeks' time. i need to MUG. big time. the prospect of having to attend next year's orientation isn't very appealing.

so.
im gonna study hard. SEIZE THE DAY=) yeah, that's the way=)

pink lemonade gives me the shivers;)

geks dageek @ 8:02 PM

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Monday, September 04, 2006

just came back from a 4-hour gp make-up lesson=\ well, it wasn't that unbearable. surprisingly. 'cause she let us watch 'the truman show' for the last two hours=D heh. it's a very interesting movie. i think=)

had lunch at mac's after gp. was funny talking nonsense to hsiaoen, ngminjia and limin. haha. and limin was saying it would be TOTALLY hilarious if we were to see a certain someone at mac's. LOL. i think she would just faint=X haha. and hsiaoen is a true blue hypocrite=P LOL.

yay=) meeting karen, clarice and limei later in the evening=) yes. we're the only four girls in N329. so pathetically few but never mind. we're the roses among the thorns=P hahaha. okay. wanna go read my reader's digest.

LATER=)

my heart o Lord you've changed
i'll never be the same

geks dageek @ 4:11 PM

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Sunday, September 03, 2006

this sucks. need to be back in school on monday, wednesday and friday=\ wth. might as well cancel the one-week hols. RAHH. this is absolutely preposterous! yay=) i love this word. so effective in conveying my utmost disgust with the teachers=X

whew. im finally done with the blasted essay. i swear i'll never visit wikipedia or google after i finish my alevels. mark my words. im so fed up with all the researching and stuff. it just drives me to insanity=X

service was great=) except for some random prank call and the weekly mindless bickering with titus. childish -shakes head- haha. but it was funny=P had fellowship at changi airpot. BK! hahaha. justine paid for my meal 'cause he wanted to make up for last saturday. lols. took the train with kenny=)

yups. anyway, that tan limin is talking rubbish on msn. tsk. LIMIN! don't think so much! it's not what you think it is. haha. it's highly unlikely=P and i will NOT let it happen. hahaha. okay, im talking rubbish here too=X haha.

but. you can't be too sure of anything right now. like if im going to get promoted or if im going to fall asleep in class tomorrow=) so. let things be the way they are and they'll sort themselves out. somehow. hopefully.

SIGH. need to go file my gp notes. nights=)

everyday it's You i live for <3

geks dageek @ 10:21 PM

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Saturday, September 02, 2006

m&m's is my main source of energy=) loves<3

done with my research on an essay question we're supposed to complete by the end of the september holidays=/ something to do with the influence of mass media on a country's culture. man, the question is like so broad please. for now, research's done. left with the essay. sigh. going to kill like a million brain cells=P lols.

seems like im going to have one exciting week ahead. make-up lessons, mugging, you name it. so interesting, right. yeah i know. i simply can't wait for gp and physics make-up classes, econs make-up lecture and endless hours of studying. WOW.

never underestimate the wonders m&m's can do=)

I got the green light to do whatever i want
I'm gonna stand outside the box, and put the rules on hold.

geks dageek @ 12:06 PM

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Friday, September 01, 2006

teachers' day today. maybe i'll get to be a part of it a few years down the road. haha=)

aces dance was pure crap. we did it in the cc 'cause of the rain. and it was so difficult to do the dance steps 'cause the people just refused to spread out. oh wells. the concert was great=D min melly and coll! you girls did a wonderful job=D

limin, chua and tsura came to my house. haha. ate at KFC. talked about people and stuff. haha. bitching isn't a right thing to do. but sometimes you just can't help it 'cause the person is just downright annoying. never mind. it's not the point here.

met vanessa, kailing, marianne, geokhian and grace at marina square's thai express. been a awhile=) haha. had tons of fun at k-box. haha. we were bitching and gossiping most of the time. it's like a gift in us. ij girls just LOVE to gossip. haha. it felt so good to be able to drop all pretense and be the way we are. no one would care if we sat like rickshaw pullers or if we laughed like hyenas. you can just hear our voices ringing true=) haha. that k-box room 30 was like our sanctuary=) oh well. no one would understand that.

anyway, im quite happy that i completed my I and R. haha. went for cell group at hooper's place. today's message was about commitment. to me, it's a burdensome word. im afraid to commit myself to things that i have no passion for. like studies. it's called forced commitment. haha. oh wells.

i don't understand how people can hold on to something that will never return to them. it's pointless, isn't it? letting go is so much easier. why put yourself in such misery when you know it's not worth it? move on. it's the best way to get out of the dark valley=)

geks dageek @ 8:55 PM

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